


A little taste of you

by slugmutt



Category: Harper Connelly Series - Charlaine Harris
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Stepsiblings to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 14:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20949941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slugmutt/pseuds/slugmutt
Summary: A few alternate first kisses, somewhere between Sarne and Doraville.





	A little taste of you

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't a very busy fandom, but these are fun books and I want these two to have more than one fic. So - my humble contribution to making the Harper/Tolliver fandom a thing.
> 
> This first chapter takes place between the first two books, ie, after Sarne, before Memphis.

When Tolliver finally came back, I almost slammed the door in his face.

As it was, I just about glared a hole in the side of his head as he swayed his way into our hotel room and collapsed in one of the stiff red chairs next to the TV. He glared at the floor, refusing to give in to my silent demand that he explain himself.

We stayed like that for a long minute. I crossed my arms. I didn’t know about him, but I sure wasn’t going to apologize for being mad. He said he was going to be back almost two hours earlier.

He broke first. “I’m sorry,” he said, and I noticed his words were more than a little slurred. “I wasn’t trying to get drunk. I just needed a beer, and then I had one more, and then the bartender kept giving me coke, and I – “ His face reddened. “I didn’t realize there was vodka in it,” he muttered, embarrassed, and I rolled my eyes.

“Let me guess. The bartender was female, and offered to help you back to your room?” His silence spoke volumes. “So where is she now?” If he thought I was going to clear out so he could have sex in our room after he’d scared the hell out of me like that, he had another think coming.

He shrugged. “I told her there was a woman waiting for me back in my room already.”

It sounded weird when he put it that way. Although technically, it wasn’t a lie. I am a woman, and I was waiting. It’s just that I’m Tolliver’s stepsister, not his lover.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his words a little clearer this time, and also a little more honest. “It’s just – fucking Sarne.”

I nodded. As much as I hated to see Tolliver drunk, I couldn’t blame him for needing a drink after Sarne. Between the murders we’d uncovered, the teenage thugs who’d attacked me, and of course, Tolliver going to jail, it had been a very rough few days.

And it wasn’t that I didn’t trust Tolliver to know his limits. I knew he wouldn’t fall into addiction, any more than I would. We’d both seen how that road ended, and we wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon.

But seeing him drunk made me anxious in ways I didn’t know how to explain.

“It was a bad week,” I said, just to have something to say.

He nodded. “You know what the worst part was?”

I waited. There were a lot of potential answers to that.

“Seeing you with that cop.”

OK, that I was not expecting. I threw my hands up in exasperation. “What is it with you and him?”

I knew Tolliver hadn’t liked Hollis Boxleitner, the police officer I’d had a brief fling with during our time in Sarne. What I didn’t get was why. Hollis was a nice man, and had done nothing to either of us that would justify that level of dislike. Certainly nothing that would justify ranking him as worse than, say, _being in jail_.

Tolliver pushed himself to standing. He was surprisingly steady on his feet, considering. “C’mere,” he said. “I’ll explain.”

I stayed put. “Explain what?”

He sighed, and came toward me. He’s tall enough that after two steps he was already towering over me.

“My problem with him,” he said. “I told myself I’d explain, in the bar.”

I waited. He licked his lips nervously, his expression a strange mix of stubbornness and fear. I wondered if that was how I looked, when I went quiet thinking about something. If so, no wonder people thought I was weird.

“You’re not explaining anything,” I pointed out.

“Don’t be mad, OK?”

“No promises.”

He kissed me.

My brain froze, then went into overdrive. There were multiple levels of surprise to work through.

First, of course, was the fact that Tolliver was kissing me at all. He’d kissed me on the cheek before, of course, and I’d done the same, and we’d hugged, and he’d massaged my leg, and supported me when my work made me weak, and held me when I felt to tired to go on.

But nothing like this, nothing so – sexual.

Then, there was the second surprise: I wasn’t stopping him. In fact, I was kissing him back.

Because, third surprise? Kissing Tolliver felt very, very good. His lips were soft on mine, and his hand was cradling my cheek, and I knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. As if this was how it should have been all along.

It felt so good that I didn’t react the way I should have. I should have stepped away from Tolliver right away. He was drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing. I did.

Instead, I just kinda… stayed there. It was like waking up slowly on a cold morning, when you’re comfortable under your blankets and your dreams conspire to pull you back into sleep. Some corner of my mind knew that I needed to snap out of it, but a bigger part just wanted to stay where it was warm.

But eventually, my horror at myself overcame the rest. “No,” I said, stepping back. I shook my head to clear it. “Tolliver, you’re drunk. You don’t – we can’t do this.” My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. “This is a very bad idea,” I added, talking to myself as much as to him.

I saw his face close off, his dark eyes going cold. “Alright,” he said, quietly. “Alright, Harper.” He headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To get a second room.” He turned his head just a little, so that I saw him in profile as he opened the door. “You don’t hate me, right?”

I shook my head. “Of course not. I could never – “

The door closed behind him before I could finish.

I stood there staring at it until my legs got too weak to hold me up.

I don’t know if I slept that night, or just drifted into a kind of semi-consciousness. Whatever it was, I sure didn’t feel rested the next morning.

I forced myself out of bed anyway. I wanted to be sure Tolliver was alright, but there was something else I wanted more. And that was to avoid him until I could get my thoughts together at least a little. Because right then, it felt like the life I thought I’d had had been broken into a hundred pieces.

I’d spent half the night thinking of what Tolliver had said, and what I’d said, and of what I’d done (I had kissed him back, why had I kissed him back? And how had it felt so thrilling, and yet so safe, like coming home?), and of what it all meant. I was no closer to finding answers than I had been.

The cool morning air helped a little, as I’d hoped it would. I let myself just run for a while, without trying to think of anything.

And after a while, it started to feel as if my thoughts were arranging themselves without my help. The broken bits of my life sorted themselves out and reassembled, creating a picture that was entirely new, but still beautiful. Maybe even better.

Tolliver still wasn’t in the room when I got back, so I jumped in the shower. When I came out he was waiting, perched on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

He didn’t look at me. Not that he usually watched me dress, but this time he made a show of not looking, twisting his body the other way around.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he said when I had put on jeans and a t-shirt. “It won’t happen again.”

This was my chance. I could say something reassuring, and we could agree to put it behind us, and his smile might not quite reach his eyes, not today, but eventually things would be like they were. I’d have my old life back.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “What if I want it to?” I said instead.

His head jerked up and he stared at me. “You mean it?” His expression was completely, deliberately blank.

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

The blank look faded from his face slowly, replaced by a grin. My breath caught in my throat. Tolliver was beautiful when he smiled. And now he… now we… I felt my heart racing.

He stood and put his hands gently on my shoulders. “Harper?” he asked, and his tone of voice made me think I’d looked a little strange just then.

And then, suddenly, I wasn’t nervous anymore. This was Tolliver. Whatever happened next, whichever direction our relationship took, it would be OK.

Tolliver always makes sure I’m OK.

I could feel myself smiling. “It’s you,” I said, reaching up to touch his cheek.

He smiled back, and kissed me.


End file.
